Tuesday, February 7, 2012

hCG Update/Paranoia Sets In

    I've been worrying a lot over the past week about how this pregnancy will turn out.  Having three miscarriages leads to paranoia in a time when most would be excited and at least entertaining the idea of  planning for the future.  I am trying to be happy, but at the moment I seem to punish myself with thoughts of doom whenever I even consider a positive outcome.
     My first two hCG tests were good (88-206 in two days) and my doctor said that I didn't need to repeat them and that I would have my first ultrasound on the 15th of February (It would have been the 17th, but we are going to be out of town).  I thought I could keep my hopes high with the two positive tests results, but by Monday I was losing my mind.  There was inconsolable crying followed by my husband's very sweet offer to call the doctor to ask if I could go in for another test.  My hCG levels came back at 940ish.  I can't remember the exact figure since I was so freakin' happy.  That happiness was short-lived because when I talked to my doctor and he confirmed that we probably won't see a heartbeat before when go on our trip, which means I will be worrying the whole time we are gone, arrrrrrrrrg (like a frustrated pirate).  My doctor suggested that we continue to monitor my hCG every 48 hours since this will be the best measure of how the pregnancy is progressing.  I have my next test tomorrow. 
     Things are going well so far and I have no reason to be worried, except that I have been through this before and it has never turned out well.  I don't know how to get past this, but I am surely trying.  Any pointers from anyone still reading my blog?
     

5 comments:

  1. I wish I had pointers for you... The best I can offer are my positive thoughts headed your way! Hoping for good numbers!

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  2. Thank you Jamie, that is very sweet of you. I did my last hCG test Wednesday and my numbers are more than doubling in 48 hours. I really hope this pregnancy will actually work.

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  3. Yay! That's great news! I'm currently 7 weeks 4 days pregnant with my 2nd baby. I have PCOS and have to do Progesterone suppositories for the first trimester. I can't wait for an ultrasound just to make sure everything is going as it is supposed to! I wish you the best!

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  4. When do you get to have your first ultrasound?

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  5. I have an appt on the 20th and I'm hoping for one then! With my daughter I had an ultrasound at my first appt at 5.5 weeks, then again at 7.5 weeks due to a scare. This time around it feels like I'm waiting forever :-/. How about you?

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